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My last post — not my last post

If you’ve been following this blog, please accept my warm appreciation for allowing me to share my thoughts and insights.

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New look, same articles, videos, and posts grappling with the challenges of calibrating our moral compass and seeking clarity and courage in the battle against ego and the evils of self-deception.

I hope to see you there.  Thanks again.

Weather or not, your time has come

Climate is what you expect; weather is what you get.
~Robert A. Heinlein

We’ve certainly gotten our share of weather this season.  Blizzards in New England, ice storms in Florida, subzero temperatures in the Midwest, and devastating dry heat in California.  Whatever we were expecting from winter, this was not it.

Of course, you can always find a silver lining if you look hard enough.  As humorist Kin Hubbard wrote, Don’t knock the weather; nine-tenths of people couldn’t start a conversation if it didn’t change once in a while.

It is remarkable how much we seem to delight in stating the obvious.  Do we think that others won’t notice Mother Nature’s current disposition if we don’t bring it to their attention?

But the weather teaches a deeper lesson in human psychology, one first observed by the sages of the Talmud some 2000 years ago:

Everything is in the hands of heaven except cold and heat.

At first glance, it appears that the author of this remark was playing with our minds.  After all, is anything less in our control than the weather?  To complicate matters, this comment seems to contradict the more famous talmudic dictum that,

Everything is in the hands of heaven except the fear of heaven.

The meaning of the second statement is easier to grasp.  As much as we human beings like to think of ourselves as masters of our own fate, the truth is that we have no control whatsoever over what happens to us.

Of course, we can choose how we act.  But where our actions will lead, where our choices will take us, and what twists of fate lie lurking around every corner – about those we have nothing to say at all.

Consider these ironic footnotes to history:

The trendy, textured wallpaper invented in 1960 by Marc Chavannes and Al Fielding turned out to be a total failure.  Well, not a total failure.  Several years later it was put to good use.  You know it as Bubble Wrap.

In 1968, Spencer Silver tried and failed to develop a super-strong adhesive for 3M laboratories.  Instead, he produced a stickum that easily peels right off.  His failure gave us Post-it notes.

Then there’s the story of John DeLorean, the wunderkind who rose to become general manager of Chevrolet, only to leave General Motors and start his own car company.  His sleek, gull-winged, stainless steel luxury car captured the world’s imagination, and experts predicted boundless success.  But production delays and a global recession drove his company into bankruptcy.  DeLorean was arrested and charged with drug-trafficking, purportedly to raise the $17 million he needed to save his ailing company.

Sometimes we do everything right and fail; sometimes we do everything wrong and succeed.  Ultimately, we have no more control over the outcome of our efforts than we have over the weather.  What we do control, however, is how we respond to what happens to us.

When we forget where we left our keys, do we start snarling at the people around us?  When we’re late for an appointment, do we curse the red light that makes us later?  When we get caught making a mistake, do we try to deflect responsibility by shifting blame onto others?  When a project fails, do we make excuses, or do we try to learn how to turn the experience of failure into a formula for success?

It’s the way we respond to situations of stress and disappointment that reflects the quality of our character.  This is what the sages call fear of heaven.

Don’t we do a greater service to ourselves, as well as to the people around us, when we laugh at our own foolishness, admit our own mistakes, and quietly accept the inconveniences that fate scatters along our way?  Don’t we make it easier for others to look for the good and cope with the bad when we model keeping perspective and priorities where they should be?  Don’t we come out ahead in the end by challenging ourselves to do better than by cursing the randomness of misfortune?

We can’t change the weather, but we can dress warmly against the cold and stay hydrated against the heat.  That’s plain common sense.

It’s less common to remain even-tempered and upbeat in the face of life’s bumps and bruises.  But it makes just as much sense.

And it’s entirely in our hands.

Published in Jewish World Review

Fighting the next civil war

It happened when John F. Kennedy appeared at his presidential inauguration without a hat.  One instant of astonishment, followed by men’s hats instantaneously dropping out of style.

It happened when Michelle Obama began appearing sleeveless as First Lady.  A few days of disdain and mockery from the right, after which virtually every female commentator on Fox News had shed her sleeves.

And currently, it has happened with Donald Trump’s unfiltered attacks on anyone who dares to question or oppose him.  After excoriating the president for his vitriol and divisiveness, his detractors on the left have used the exact same tactics in their campaign against him.

This has nothing to do with taking sides.

Click to read the rest.

Raise your words

Compliance is a dirty word

There is something dark and sinister about the word compliance.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have no quarrel with being in compliance. But the way we say things matters. That’s why there’s such a strong link between ethics and communication.

To say we are in compliance presumes ethical conduct as something imposed on us contractually or legislatively. And the problem with that attitude is that we start to resent the rules of compliance as a burden and an inconvenience.

That makes us want to rebel.

Click here to  find out what to do instead.

The Language of Kindness

Reasoning with Unreasonable People

Events on the Korean peninsula have been a source of anxiety for a long time. But the precarious game of nuclear brinkmanship turned momentarily farcical last May, when the newly elected government of South Korea condemned North Korea for dashing hopes of peace by conducting its second ballistic missile test in a week.

In other news, expectations for perpetual motion, bi-partisan government, and the end of world hunger were also shattered. The culprit was that relentless and uncompromising bugaboo known as reality.

On October 11, 2002, former President Jimmy Carter received the Nobel Peace Prize, in large part for his role negotiating a treaty in which North Korea agreed to suspend its nuclear weapons program. On October 16, just five days later, the United States announced that North Korea admitted to having a clandestine program to enrich uranium for nuclear weapons.

One can’t help but reflect on the classic scene in Casablanca when Claude Rains declares being “shocked, shocked to find that gambling is going on” — as the concierge is handing him his winnings.

Click here to read the rest.