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New look, same articles, videos, and posts grappling with the challenges of calibrating our moral compass and seeking clarity and courage in the battle against ego and the evils of self-deception.
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It happened when John F. Kennedy appeared at his presidential inauguration without a hat. One instant of astonishment, followed by men’s hats instantaneously dropping out of style.
It happened when Michelle Obama began appearing sleeveless as First Lady. A few days of disdain and mockery from the right, after which virtually every female commentator on Fox News had shed her sleeves.
And currently, it has happened with Donald Trump’s unfiltered attacks on anyone who dares to question or oppose him. After excoriating the president for his vitriol and divisiveness, his detractors on the left have used the exact same tactics in their campaign against him.
This has nothing to do with taking sides.
The UN vote is about more than Jerusalem and about more than an embassy
It’s depressing to have to state the obvious. But it’s too maddening to remain silent. So please forgive me if I revisit what many have said but few have heard.
Last week’s United Nations vote – which censured the United States for planning to relocate its embassy to Jerusalem – is a pitch-perfect example of human society’s collective descent into tribalism. And the heart of the matter has nothing to do with Jerusalem, the Mideast, or American foreign policy.
One could reasonably make the case that moving the embassy is ill-advised. I have had my own doubts whether or not the benefits of the largely symbolic gesture outweigh the potential for violent Palestinian reaction.
But that was not the stated reason behind the U.N. resolution.
Instead, leaders and pundits the world around claimed that the move will derail the peace process. And to that, the logical retort is: what peace process?
In the 53 years since the establishment of the Palestinian Liberation Organization (which preceded the Six Day War and Israel’s so-called “occupation” of the West Bank), the only concession offered up by the Palestinian Authority has been to remove from its charter the call for Israel’s destruction.
The concession to stop publicly advocating the extermination of 6 million Israeli Jews was a good first step, not a final offer. Negotiation requires compromise, as Israeli Prime Minister Ehud Barak demonstrated back in 2000 when he offered to return 94% of the West Bank – an offer the P.A. refused. Since then, the only progress has been Israel’s withdrawal from Gaza, to which the P.A. responded by launching missiles against Israeli civilians.
So exactly what “process” does the international community think has been derailed?
PSYCHOLOGY AND PATHOLOGY
Even more absurd is denouncing the U.S. embassy move as “illegal.” The whole world has recognized Israel’s ownership of West Jerusalem since 1947. So why should any country not be allowed to name its own capital in its own land? And why should any other country be censured for establishing its embassy in a legal foreign capital? Finally, why should longtime allies join the chorus of condemnation with absolutely no legal or moral justification?
The first two questions are merely rhetorical. It is the third question that really needs answering. Are you listening, Europe and Canada?
There are two explanations. First is the irrational Utopianism that characterizes much of the political left. Like the delusional naturalists who believe that grizzly bears and mountain lions are really peaceful creatures who will respond to human gestures of affection in kind, radical progressives fantasize that terrorists and the sponsors of terror will eagerly embrace peace once the rest of us confess our sins and beg for absolution.
It hasn’t worked yet. But the Utopians have faith, even as they remain blind and deaf to the irrefutable evidence that they themselves have become the enablers of terrorism. For all their good intentions, they have prolonged suffering on all sides by allowing corrupt Palestinian leaders to squander hundreds of millions in international aid on terror tunnels rather than easing the plight of their own people.
The second reason is that western governments are terrified that any sign of support for Israel will spark violent uprisings among their restless Arab minorities. It’s a disappointing fact of life that the politics of cowardice almost always trump commitment to justice.
THE HEART OF THE MATTER
The more fundamental problem, however, is the unapologetic disregard for truth.
Think whatever you want and believe whatever you want – but defend your positions with facts and logic, not disinformation and distortion. Once reasoned debate and civil discourse become impossible – whether because of ideology or fear – civilization is sure to crumble beneath our feet.
Truth be told, it’s possible that by showing the Palestinian Authority that intransigence will no longer serve their interests, the U.S. has actually moved the peace process a step forward. If other countries begin to follow America’s example, the PA will be left scrambling to make a deal before they have no more chips left to bargain.
King Solomon says, One who trusts his own heart is a fool, but one who walks in wisdom shall be kept safe.
If we truly hope to bring about peace, we have cast off our rose-colored glasses and confront our fear. Only then might we achieve the intellectual and moral integrity that will allow us to follow in the ways of wise counsel.
Fashions change, and so do standards. John F. Kennedy attended his presidential inauguration without a hat, and instantly hats fell out of style. Female attire that’s perfectly acceptable today would have landed a woman in jail a century ago.
But there’s a difference between styles and standards. A relaxed dress code may work in the offices of Facebook and Google, but conventional businesses find that productivity drops off when executives drop their office shirts, skirts, and slacks.
So if United airlines wants to hold its employees to a more formal standard of attire when they’re flying as a corporate perk, perhaps the company should have been applauded for its professionalism.
And if that requires family members who fly on non-revenue tickets to spruce up a bit, is that such a high price to pay?
Well, you’d certainly think so after the twitterstorm that engulfed the carrier earlier this year. And since it’s the season for New Year’s resolutions, let’s think back to last March, when an uninformed bystander jumped to conclusions and — rather than investigating to get her facts straight — tried and convicted United in the court of public opinion.
What are Ethics? 2 minute video
How many times have you heard that — or said it yourself — when it clearly wasn’t true? When we don’t want to face reality, to accept responsibility, or to face accountability, we assert that reality must be what we want it to be and can’t be anything else.
If we aren’t prepared to face reality, we can’t be ethical, and we certainly can’t solve our problems or anyone else’s. So what do we do about it? The answer is here:
According to psychology, beauty is something very different from what we think it is. Similarly, the excitement we associate with the exotic and unusual is more in our minds than in reality.
If we don’t recognize the subconscious forces at play upon us, we can slip into unethical behavior without even realizing it. How do we acquire the mindset for successful coping?
Watch this 2-minute video to find the answers.
Here we are again, shaking our collective heads the latest harassment headlines. How did this happen? How did we get here? How long are these stories going to continue to surface?
But the question we should be asking is: what can we do about it? Here are a few common sense curatives for the pandemic of predators in the workplace.
Don’t go it alone. Vice President Mike Pence was widely mocked and ridiculed after disclosing that he doesn’t dine alone with other women. But there is safety in numbers, and the mere presence of others reminds us to behave better. Keep private interactions semi-public, and you’re far less likely to end up in compromising positions.
No flirting. Sure, it’s fun. Like a little kid whisking his finger through a flame, we love to skirt the edges of propriety with winks, raised eyebrows and ambiguously provocative remarks. But it’s a short step onto a very slippery slope, and a little sensual sparring can quickly spiral from cute and clever to distasteful and dangerous.
Watch your tongue. HBO and Showtime have made the worst kind of language positively pedestrian. But there used to be seven words you couldn’t hear on television for good reason. Refinement of language reinforces refined behavior, and the more acceptable foul vocabulary becomes, the more likely we are to cross the boundaries of suggestive, harassing and bullying speech as well.
Look professional. The way we dress sends a signal about how we expect to be treated. The more casual the attire, the looser the standards. This applies to both productivity and personal interaction. A professional-looking workplace promotes professional behavior in every area.
Keep your hands to yourself. Aside from a formal handshake, touching has little place in any professional setting. Some people don’t like being touched but are reluctant to say so. And unwanted or inappropriate contact is just another way of violating boundaries. Do you want people to think of you as “creepy”? Did you just find yourself thinking about Joe Biden?
Don’t turn a blind eye. It’s easy to convince ourselves that a remark or action really meant nothing. We don’t want to look petty, and we don’t want to make something big out of something small. But if a colleague acts in a way that offends you, take that person to one side and politely say you didn’t appreciate it and please not to act that way again.
Have each other’s backs. It’s no different when we witness or learn of misbehavior toward others. It’s hard to stand up for ourselves, especially when we aren’t sure if we can count on those around us to come to our defense. Letting others know that you’re there for them when they need you empowers everyone and creates a bulwark against predatory behavior.
Document. You can let a single, minor incident roll off your shoulders. But if it’s egregious, or if a pattern of behavior begins to emerge, make sure to keep a detailed record in real time, in the form of personal emails, a personal diary and, if necessary, complaints to superiors.
Don’t over-react. As diligent as we have to be, we also have to be careful not to go overboard. In our politically correct society, too many people are eager to find misconduct everywhere, whether it’s racial, sexual, or ideological. Occasionally, we all have poor judgment, and putting an offender on alert quietly and privately is probably enough for most first-offenses. Hitting the nuclear button at the slightest whiff of innuendo may end up being more harmful then helpful to a collaborative culture. If we’re all walking on eggshells, none of us is going to get very far.
Don’t believe it can’t happen to you. The headlines and history are littered with stories of people who never thought they could become victims or never imagined they would become oppressors – not to mention never believing they could be called out or brought down. When we think it can’t happen to us, the chances rocket upward that it will happen to us.
King Solomon teaches that wisdom walks in the ways of integrity and follows the paths of justice. We can save ourselves from much folly by acknowledging the pitfalls that lie before us and disciplining ourselves to avoid them.
The first step is to recognize that all of us are capable of committing acts of gross impropriety, and that any of us can be tripped by the temptations of ego and opportunism if we let down our guard. Only when we hold ourselves to the highest standards of ethical conduct do we have the right to expect as much from others.