Home » Posts tagged 'Discipline' (Page 18)

Tag Archives: Discipline

The Cost of Voyeurism

violent-imagesWhere were you on Tuesday, August 19th, 2014? That’s the day ISIS terrorists beheaded American journalist James Foley. Or, to be more accurate, that was when they posted the video of their atrocity on YouTube

Did you watch it? If you did, you had plenty of company. According to one poll, an estimated 1.2 million people in Great Britain watched the beheading in just the first few days after the video appeared online. In the United States, pollsters found that 9% of those surveyed had watched the brutal execution, suggesting that about 30 million Americans had witnessed the spectacle by mid-November.

And back in 2004, the video of Islamists beheading freelance repairman Nick Berg was the most popular search topic for a solid week; the al-Qaeda-linked website hosting the video received so much traffic it had to temporarily shut down.

According to Oxford anthropologist Frances Larson, this fascination with violent images is nothing new.

Read more at: http://www.learning-mind.com/voyeurism-violent-images/

The Great Divide: Ignorance and Insecurity

Conor Friedersdorf writes in the Atlantic:

temper-tantrum[At Yale University, one] resident declared in a campus publication, “I have had to watch my friends defend their right to this institution. This email and the subsequent reaction to it have interrupted their lives. I have friends who are not going to class, who are not doing their homework, who are losing sleep, who are skipping meals, and who are having breakdowns.” One feels for these students. But if an email about Halloween costumes has them skipping class and suffering breakdowns, either they need help from mental-health professionals or they’ve been grievously ill-served by debilitating ideological notions they’ve acquired about what ought to cause them pain.

This is the reaction of Ivy League students, the best and the brightest, the cream of the crop, the hope for the future, the movers and shakers of the next generation, the political, social, and economic leaders of tomorrow.  Their entire world collapses because someone, somewhere disagrees with them.

The depressing irony of the episode is that Erika Christakis’ noble attempt to accord students a greater measure of personal and moral responsibility resulted in the students themselves protesting for — and thereby demonstrating — their own incapacity to take responsibility for their actions on any level at all.  Without a trace of embarrassment, academe’s most elite sons and daughters dissolved into a collective hissy-fit because one of their instructors suggested they should be treated as adults.

Read the whole article here.

 

Making the Ordinary Extraordinary

08b419073f601987ce81e919e41a021d-300x300You’ve just ordered a top sirloin at a five star restaurant and the waiter brings you prime rib.  Or you arrive on time for your reservation and still have to wait 20 minutes to get a table.  Or you ask for a beer with your dinner and, after you’ve reminded the waiter twice, he informs you as you’re finishing off your entree that the restaurant is out of your selection.

Do you complain to the manager, or do you wax philosophic and chalk up the experience to the vagaries of life?

It may depend on whether you are dining cross-country or dining across town.

That’s what researchers from Temple University, Arizona State University, and the University of Minnesota concluded when they studied a cross-section of restaurant reviews: we’re more likely to be critical of establishments when we’re closer to home than we are when we’re on the road.

The question, of course, is why?

Read the whole article here.

Did That Really Happen?

ben-carsonWell, it was probably inevitable.  Dr. Ben Carson, quintessential political outsider and man of integrity, has been caught in a … well, let’s call it a modest inaccuracy for the time being.  The inspirational narrative of his turning down a full scholarship to West Point proved somewhat less dramatic:  at best, he was encouraged to attend West Point and chose otherwise.

This may have been an honest misstatement or trick of memory decades after the fact.  It certainly can’t be compared to claims of having been shot down in a helicopter or having had to duck under sniper fire, and if it doesn’t emerge as part of a pattern of prevarication then the doctor can be forgiven.

It does demonstrate, however, how careful we should be with our words, especially in this day and age when everything is recorded and almost everything can be verified or disproven.

It’s a topic I address in this essay, published by Jewish World Review back in 2010.

Having circled the globe one and a half times before finding my way to Torah observance, having lived for nine years in Israel and one year in Hungary, having taught adolescents for nigh on two decades, it’s only natural that I have more than a few stories to tell. Consequently, it never fails to discomfit me when friends or neighbors respond to my essays by asking:

“Did that really happen?”

Are my anecdotes so truly unbelievable? After all, I never claimed to have flown to the moon on gossamer wings, to have crossed the Alps with Hannibal and his elephants, or to have led the attack against Custer’s army at Little Big Horn. No, I’ve merely looked to pluck useful insights from slightly quirky encounters and bring to light the Torah wisdom that resides within myriad aspects of the human condition.

12d8aa967e8ef907e5f1f4932db629feAnd so I’ve penned essays about my white fedora, which fellow travelers reported noticing as our paths crisscrossed throughout Europe; about the Israeli gentlemen who rebuked me in an elevator for wearing an earring while sporting tzitzis, the fringed tassels worn over the belt line according to Torah law; and about the ragged man who stopped in his tracks on the streets of Budapest, apparently overwhelmed and overjoyed to discover a religious Jew having survived the travails of the Holocaust and assimilation; these, together with assorted episodes from my high school class room.

“I loved your article,” an acquaintance will say. And then, with alarming frequency: “Did that really happen?”

I even get it from my mother.

To be honest, I can’t say that I’m surprised. After all, narrative accuracy has seen its market value tumble over the years. As candidate for president, John Kerry described how Christmas in Cambodia was “seared in his memory.” A stirring narrative, aside from the fact that he wasn’t actually there. In the Democratic primary four years later, Hillary Clinton reported that her parents had named her in honor of Sir Edmund Hillary — an impressive feat of prescience, since Sir Edmund had not conquered Mount Everest until five years after Ms. Clinton was born and named. Even Ronald Reagan, although never caught embellishing his own history, nevertheless brought tears to the eyes of his audiences with poignant war stories that turned out to be scenes from old movies.

Popular motion pictures that are “based on” or “inspired by” true stories often undergo such embellishment that they emerge bearing little resemblance to the events they claim to portray. Tonight Show host Jay Leno, in his autobiography, reportedly included anecdotes that actually happened to other people, but explained that he had permission to use one story, and that he had paid for the right to use the other.

As in so many cases, the Torah prohibition against speaking untruths extends far beyond the simple meaning of the words. MiDavar sheker tirchak translates, simultaneously, as “Distance yourself from a false word” and as “Distance yourself from a false thing.” From the perspective of Jewish philosophy, words are not mere symbols or labels; they possess a substance and a reality all their own. Consider how a cruel word can inflict more pain than a sharp blow between the eyes, or how a well-placed compliment can produce more pleasure than the sweetest dessert.

When does a word or a thing become false? In principle, the slightest embellishment or exaggeration constitutes a violation of Torah values, if not Torah law. If one is uncertain about the details of a story, it is easy enough to add “I think” or “something like” to one’s narrative. That small concession to veracity helps us preserve our respect for the lines between truth and falsehood — lines that grow increasingly blurred amidst the moral confusion of our generation.

the-truth-shall-set-you-freeThe Hebrew word emes, commonly translated as truth, is formed by the three letters that come, in sequence, at the very beginning, the precise middle, and the very end of the Hebrew alphabet. Before we can be certain that anything is true, we must have a sufficiently broad perspective; we must have all the information, accurately and in context; and we must have a clear understanding of the propriety of revealing that information and the consequences of doing so. Only then is it emes.

Consequently, sometimes even absolute truth may be considered false. In the case of malicious gossip, the accuracy of the information may result in harm even worse than slander by damaging relationships that would have been secure against rumor or innuendo. Similarly, details taken out of context, although factual, often imply conclusions that have no bearing on reality. They may be true, but they are not emes.

The distinction between words that are true and words that are emes easily leads us onto thin moral ice. What about “white lies” intended to spare the feelings of others, or “harmless” untruths meant to warm another person’s heart?

At first glance, Torah tradition seems to endorse such ideas. The sages teach that Aaron, the High Priest, upon discovering that two friends had come to quarrel, ran back and forth reporting to each how sorry the other was and how desperately he longed for reconciliation, until the two friends resolved their dispute and became friends once again. The same sages tell us to always call a bride beautiful, no matter what she actually looks like.

On deeper reflection, however, is it not true that true friends, divided by conflict, miss the relationship they once had and deeply long to restore their friendship? And is it not similarly true that every bride glows with an inner beauty projected at the moment of her greatest joy, and that she is truly beautiful in the eyes of her bridegroom? If so, is it not also true that the sages were offering us a profound lesson in how to interpret human nature?

Indeed, even if there may be cases that require us to speak some literal untruth to protect another person’s physical, mental, or spiritual welfare, such cases are few and far between. If we are honest with ourselves, we will concede that most of us will have rare occasion to bend or break the truth.

Perhaps, if we all exert more effort to ensure that all our words are words of emes, we will not find ourselves suspicious of those stories of little miracles and inspirational irony that can make our eyes sparkle and our hearts swell. And if a more profound commitment to honesty helps us become less cynical and more easily inspired, then what do we really have to lose?

Who is Wise? Who is Righteous? One who reads Harry Potter

RADCLIFF...TO GO WITH STORY TITLED POTTER COUNTDOWN--FILE--Actor Daniel Radcliffe writes with a quill in a scene from Warner Bros. "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone," in this undated promotional photo. The film has its world premiere in London this weekend and hits theaters Nov. 16. Based on the first of author J.K. Rowling's best-selling series, the movie follows the adventures of Harry, an orphan boy who is invited to become a student at the Hogwart's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The movie faces huge expectations not only among fans, but at the box office, too. (AP Photo/Warners Bros. Pictures, Peter Mountain/FILE)

Do you want to put an end to bigotry, ultra-nationalism, and racism? It might be easier than you think. Try reading Harry Potter.

No, it’s not magic. According to the Journal of Applied Social Psychology, there’s more to the wildly successful series than just a good story. The tale of a mistreated orphan boy who discovers extraordinary magical abilities is essentially an epic metaphor for the battle between merit and privilege, between status and stature, as pure-blooded wizards contend with half-bloods and “mudbloods” for supremacy over the magical world.

By identifying with the heroes of the story who grapple with the conflict between ancestral identity and the content of character, readers will likely emerge a little more heroic themselves.

That’s what Professor Loris Vezzali and his team of researchers from Italy’s University of Modena and Reggio Emilia concluded after a series of studies which demonstrated how children exposed to the passages dealing with prejudice displayed improved attitudes toward minorities and other social classes. According to Scientific American, this research supports an earlier study in Science, which “found that reading literary fiction, as opposed to popular fiction or nonfiction, results in keener social perception and increased empathy.”

This really should come as no surprise. Literary fiction seeks to educate as well as entertain. The combination of relaxing the mind, the willing suspension of disbelief, and the integration of moral themes, allows for the better internalization of values. Of course, the benefits are dependent upon the soundness of those values.

But Harry Potter hits the mark with almost unwavering accuracy.

Read the whole article at: http://www.learning-mind.com/reading-harry-potter/

Compartmentalize Your Free Will

do-not-cross-the-line-crossing-a-shopping-cart-prohibition-of-shopping-cart-1201651Throw out the diet books and stop starving yourself.  Here’s the next big thing in healthy living:

Duct tape.  Yellow duct tape.

That’s what researchers found when they partitioned grocery store shopping carts into sections, one side for fruits and vegetables, one side for other items.  Just a little nudge to make shoppers more conscious of their purchases led them to buy more healthy food and less junk.

The researchers, Brian Wansink, Dilip Soman, Kenneth Herbst, and Collin Payne, didn’t stop there.  By varying the size of the compartments, they discovered that shoppers bought even more fruits and vegetables in proportion to the size of the designated compartment.  With a little manipulation, customers could be prodded into choosing a healthier diet.

Ah, but there’s the rub.  How dare they manipulate us!  Who are they to play with our minds, to force us to conform to their values, and to interfere with our free will?

To which there is only one obvious response:  nonsense!

Read the whole article at http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/compartmentalizing-free-will/#kyxx1wXQ1Ae41ZFJ.99

Legal Larceny

politicianEarlier this month, voters in a CBS news poll ranked presidential candidates on, among other qualities, honesty.  Joe Biden, who was then still in the race, claimed the top spot with an 85% favorable rating.  Hillary Clinton scored 68% among Democrat primary voters but only 35% among voters in general.

This is nothing less than staggering.  Whatever one may think about Mrs. Clinton’s qualifications to occupy the White House, her record on truthfulness screams for itself:  She’s lied about Benghazi, lied about her emails, lied about ducking under sniper fire in Bosnia, lied about being broke when her husband left office, lied about her immigrant grandparents, lied about being named for Sir Edmund Hillary.

The real tragedy is that so much of the voting public is uninformed about or, even worse, indifferent to Mrs. Clinton’s utter disregard for the truth.  It’s not just that she tells lies; it’s that she tells lies about things that don’t even matter, tells lies that can be easily verified, tells lies about having told lies without even a trace of embarrassment or remorse.

For whatever reasons, a huge portion of the country has made up its mind to adore Mrs. Clinton.  In their eyes, she can do no wrong.  Either her lies don’t matter, or else they aren’t lies, since if they were she would never have spoken them.

Whatever the explanation or excuse, the effect upon our society is chilling.  For when we lose our respect for the truth, there is no way our culture can survive.

It’s worth reflecting on Harry Truman’s observation that there is nothing more dangerous than a liar in public office.  Mr. Truman feared what would happen if the people believed him.  But what’s even more frightening is what happens when we follow our leaders’ examples and accept dishonesty as a way of life ourselves.

As I discuss in this article from 2011, originally published in Jewish World Review.

Legal Larceny

70 million Britons can’t be wrong. Can they?

Well, since our cousins across the pond boil their meat and drink warm lager, maybe the British love affair with one-pound coins was not the best indicator that Americans would willingly part with their one-dollar bills. Given the spectacular failures of the Susan B. Anthony dollar and the Sacagawea gold coin, hindsight seems better than 20/20.

If experience were not enough, a 2008 Harris poll found that three-fourths of people questioned prefer their dollars in bill, leaving little room for doubt. According to NPR, however, dollar-coin proponents remain undeterred. When asked about the poll, Leslie Paige, who represents watchdog group Citizens Against Government Waste, replied, “I suspect that they just don’t understand what the up sides are.” Ms. Paige believes the government should the dollar bill from circulation, thereby forcing Americans to use the coins.

In the meantime, over a billion newly minted coins line the shelves of government reserve vaults sealed in plastic bags. At a production cost of 30 cents per coin, that’s $300 million dollars of tax money spent on very pretty gold-colored trinkets that no one may ever use, with more being added to the pile every day.

Some, however, have found a way of turning fool’s gold into the genuine article.

money-lifestyle-greedIn an effort to popularize the coins, the United States Mint has offered to mail coin orders to buyers free of shipping charges. Enterprising “travel hackers” quickly figured out that they could buy the coins, rack up frequent-flier points on their credit cards, then deposit the coins to their bank accounts to pay off their credit card> bills. Officials began catching on when they noticed repeat orders adding up to as much as $600,000 worth of coins; they got another clue when banks reported receiving deposits of coins still in their Mint wrappers.

“We’ve used them to go on trips around the world,” Jane Liaw told NPR, saying that she and her husband are planning trips to Greece and Turkey, “all on miles and points.”

“It’s not illegal,” says Mint spokesman Tom Jurkowsky, “But it’s an abuse of the system… The system was set up to promote the use of dollar coins and we are simply trying to do the right thing here.”

NOLO CONTENDRE

Sadly, this seems to be the mantra of modern morality. If the government hasn’t legislated against it, there’s no reason not to do it. Everything that is not forbidden is permitted.

How recently have we witnessed the fallout from this mentality: the false promises of 125% home mortgages to insolvent borrowers, the loan-bundling that turned a fraction of a percent advantage into multimillion dollar profits, the obscene bonuses paid to executives with government bail-out money. None of these practices was illegal, even though they caused and perpetuated an economic tailspin from which the middle and lower classes have yet to recover.

mindfulhappiness-the-greedThe attraction of easy money is irresistible, it seems, no matter what the risk.

Ironically, the decline of the America work ethic coincides with many Americans working harder than ever. But appearances can be deceiving. While people do indeed put in longer hours, increasingly those hours are frittered away texting, tweeting, checking email, and playing solitaire. Indeed, even when working hard, many of us seem motivated less by a desire to do our jobs well than by the passionate longing to escape work altogether, either through exotic forms of recreation or early retirement.

I can’t help but remember the way my English professor described Shakespeare’s Prince Hal, who fearlessly charged into battle and “fought like hell for the privilege of not having to work for a living.”

I also can’t help but apply the teaching of the sages in the Talmud when they remarked, “Love work, despise lordliness, and do not become overly familiar with the government.”

The Hebrew word for “work” employed here is malachah, derived from the root meaning “walking” or “traveling forward.” To involve oneself in any pursuit that is productive, creative, or designed to benefit those with whom we share our world – this is highest calling of civilized society. This kind of work is truly the labor of love. Moreover, by dropping the feminine ending, the word malachah becomes malach, commonly translated as “angel;” when we strive to create a better world we simultaneously transform ourselves into divine emissaries of the Almighty.

ILL-GOTTEN GAINS

In contrast, the sages warn us to despise “lordliness,” the lust for power that seeks to control others and harness their efforts for personal advantage. More and more, we witness the investment of time and energy in profit without production, in clever tricks to generate income effortlessly without contributing anything to society in return, in seeking the spoils of lordliness at the expense of those who perform real work.

Finally, the sages warn us against over-familiarity with the government, since it is the nature of rulers to care for little except their own continued hold on power. Even in our democratic government, too many of our elected officials are motivated either by their own lusts and avarice or by the conviction that they know what is best for the people no matter how much evidence testifies to the contrary.

In truth, there is no greater satisfaction than that derived from an honest day’s work; neither is there any shortage of individuals desperate to avoid labor at all costs, or to exploit the labors of others to feather their own nests. And no matter how hard it tries, government will never succeed in legislating noble values or a human conscience.

Just ask Ben Schlappig, who writes a travel hacker blog. According to NPR, Schlappig brags that he has “a few million miles” and top-tier status with several airlines.

“Just last week I came back from a trip from Australia and Singapore and Malaysia all in first class, just on miles,” he says, “partly thanks to the dollar coin program.”

How to Choose a Candidate

Brujula_1We complain about our leaders.  But are we doing all we can and should do to put responsible leaders in positions of authority, or do we deserve what we’ve been getting?

Here are some insights into political leadership and decision making in my radio interview with James Lowe.

The interview begins at 18:30 here.

 

Choose Long-term Gain over Short-term Pain-Avoidance

hqdefaultThere are two things that parents of small children can’t stand.  One is a child making noise when we’re trying to get work done.  The other is a child making no noise at all.

Because if they’re not making noise, they’re usually getting into trouble.

So consider this scenario:  you run to see what your too-quiet two year old has gotten into and find him playing with the snow-globe your sister brought back from her trip to Switzerland last year.  Since this is not the best toy for a toddler, you smile at your child and gently take the snow-globe out of his hands.

That’s when the screaming begins.

What do you do?  Do you endure the shrieking child or give back the snow-globe?

If you’re normal, your thinking probably works its way through the following steps:  1)  He can’t really hurt himself with the snow-globe.  2)  He probably won’t break the snow-globe.  3)  I never really liked the snow-globe anyway.  4)  If he does break it, it’s no big deal to clean it up.  5)  So is it really worth making him miserable by taking it away?

But we’re not really worried about the child’s misery, are we?  We’re more concerned about ourselves.

In the end, the odds are pretty good you’re going to let the toddler keep the snow-globe.

But the real issue isn’t the snow-globe; it’s the lesson you’ve just taught your child.

Click here to read the whole article.

Channeling Anger and Solving our Common Problems

My thanks to Dan Mason of KKOH in Reno for inviting me to be a guest on his show.  We talked about the anger driving voters, resolving conflict, and transforming negatives into positives.